1. Post one paragraph you have written. Post it anonymously.
2. Write a comment, anonymously, on the post immediately following yours. Write a couple sentences of feedback each for rubric numbers 3, 5, 6, 7, 8.
3. Email me your feedback comment.
4. Use the feedback given to your paragraph to improve it, and consider the feedback you just gave as you continue writing your essay.
The meaning of life is different and changing for every individual and therefore is unstable and cannot be described in words. As the world becomes more modernized, the traditional values of human beings are becoming less significant. For example, Virginia Woolf’s Clarissa Dalloway is a traditional party host, yet she has more power is far more independent than any woman has been in the past. As Septimus describes it, “it might be possible that the world itself is without meaning” (65). If someone were to describe their personal definition of what it means to be human, not only might others disagree, but the individual may shortly after disagree with themselves. One’s views of the world are constantly changing. Since no one can experience and feel the exact same way you do, it ultimately means we are alone in the world. As Septimus says in Mrs. Dalloway, “He knew the meaning of the world … they were quite alone … perfect nonsense it was” (50). This idea of being alone in the world is unclear to human beings because we are constantly surrounded by people. While we are externally surrounded by people, internally, we are alone.
ReplyDeletethis is so good!!!!!!! Nicely done. - Mr. Slater.
DeleteOthers disagree on the "meaning of life" because of their different perspective. No one will have the same meaning of life as another because they have all lived through different situations. Perspective is a huge theme in this book, like when Septimus sees the letters in the sky. Bring up the connection betweens ones perspective and the meaning of life in your essay.
DeleteDeveloping a reason for accomplishing things gives people a better sense of how to live life. People are going to continue to search for meaning in everything for as long as they live. Septimus has been living in London and he has seen the merriness that was going on in people, but he could never feel it. Septimus thought to himself, “It might be possible that the world itself is without meaning.” (65) He had understood the way that he was living day by day, and he was able to use his brain. He just tried to find a reason or a meaning behind the way that things happened. He could see and hear everything that would occur in the streets of London, but he was just longing for a meaning to the world and he couldn’t do it. He didn’t know what to do with himself because he didn’t understand why he was doing things. Meaning was also a concern when, “He was attaching meanings of words of a symbolical kind. A serious symptom to be noted on the card.” (71) Meaning can change many different situations, and this situation is involving a patient in the doctor’s office. This meaning is concerning the health or wellness of one’s body. So this meaning is somewhat more important because the patient now knows how to live his life in accordance to the meaning off his illness. People strive to understand why they do certain things and they may become uneasy if they can't figure out the meaning behind certain actions.
ReplyDeleteYour topic sentence is well written and you make good connections. You introduce your quotes well, but you should use more exciting vocabulary. Overall GOOD WORK!! The meaning is clear.
DeleteSeptimus convinces himself that he can’t feel or communicate with others, and it actually takes his basic human abilities away. Before Septimus “snapped” he was a soldier during WWII. He became very close with another soldier in the army who was killed. At first Septimus seemed to hide his misery, or not even have it. Soldiers, friends, or sometimes what seem like brothers to other men die in wars. While the pain of losing his brother doesn’t initially come forward, it is always there and creeps up on Septimus. He has initial fears that get worse. Septimus fears not being able to feel things. He can’t feel love with the girl he wants to marry, as well as many other things that humans should feel throughout life. His fear of not being able to connect to others makes it real. He sees how he is different from people, but can’t explain it. He sees this himself, but can’t communicate it to anyone, even the one he is supposed to love. This causes him to “break” mentally. He can no longer communicate with anyone in a normal way. Septimus says, “Communication is health; communication is happiness. Communication, he muttered.” I find this statement sad and ironic at the same time. He is only speaking to himself about communication, in which after Reiza doesn’t know what to do. Septimus comments are basically ignored. It’s ironic because he is talking to himself about communication, and how it is happiness. Also, to communicate one must speak clearly, while Septimus only mutters his statement to himself. Still his brain streams and works in an odd way that is somewhat conscious, but incommunicable. One can only imagine the torture of seeing, living, and hearing everything other humans do and not being able to feel what others do and not express your thoughts to others. The ability to not communicate and feel what others do could drive one crazy easily.
ReplyDeleteIn the novel, it seems that almost all of the main characters are suffering from something in their lives. One of the people that is being affected by this suffering is Peter. The reason for his suffering is love. This makes him suffer because he knows that Clarissa never has and never will love him. When he meets Richard, this suffering only becomes more severe. He says, "There he stood by Miss Parry's chair as though he had been cut out of wood, he talking about wild flowers. Never, never had he suffered so infernally!" Right at this moment, Peter realizes that Richard and Clarissa will get married. He knows that that Richard is replacing him and he will never have Clarissa. This crushes Peter because now that he has come to London, his memories of his times with Clarissa have made him fall in love even more in love with her. Now that Clarissa loves Richard, all he can do is suffer from the loss of her. This is just one form of suffering that Virginia Woolf decides to include in her novel.
ReplyDeleteYour paragraph is pretty repetitive about love. Also, the third to last sentence seems to be misworded. I think you have to have at least two quotes too, so maybe you could do one from Clarissa or another Peter quote. It would help if your topic sentence started off being a little more detailed.
DeleteTry to find a more interperative way of saying that life is a struggle. Use something like "love is the driving force to many of life's struggles"
DeleteI like the initial thesis that they are suffering from something in their lives, but gives more details into how they are specifically affected by love. Also back it up with more evidence and quotes.
DeleteOverall this is pretty good, but it is way to repetitive.. Need to stop talking about love so much! Talk about how life is hard in a different way except of repeating the same thing over and over again. Good job thought! #P.prince
DeleteThe first sentence seems to be common sense. Try to form a topic sentence that creates a way to say what you're trying to say in a more interpretive manner.
DeleteDuring Septimus’ demise, Rezia realizes that she cannot help him get better. When Septimus returns from World War I, Rezia does not recognize him as the same Septimus he was before he had gone to war. These changes make it much harder for her to relate and interact with her husband in daily life. On page 17, Rezia thinks, “To love makes one solitary. She could tell nobody, not even Septimus now… And it was cowardly for a man to say he would kill himself, but Septimus had fought; he was brave; he was not Septimus now”. Her mind is flooded with the thoughts of the Septimus she once knew before World War I had started, but now that he is in this state, she cannot get him out of it. Although Rezia thinks that she is the only one that can help him return to his previous state, his doctor thinks otherwise. Later on in the book, Dr. Bradshaw tells her, “The people we are most fond of are not good for us when we are ill” (107). By continuing to remind her husband that he has changed, Rezia only pushes him away from her and forces him to spite her more. By pushing her away more, Rezia is only causing her husband’s demise to be lonelier.
ReplyDeleteWhat is the point of the paragraph? weak topic sentence.
DeleteBecause of the weak topic sentence and the different thoughts, the paragraph does not develop the topic sentence. The quotes are cited perfectly and quotes are used correctly. You sound very mature. You need to focus on one topic pure paragraph, not a lot of different things.
DeleteYour topic sentences need to be stronger and you need to have a thesis that is interpretive. Make sure you are able to pick apart your quotes well.
DeleteThesis: Has to do with the connection between Mrs. Dalloway and Heart of Darkness. The internal struggle between making sense and meaning of life and the ability to act on what you believe rather than fall into chaos and in Septimus's instance commit suicide. The ability to act on power and do what you want connects to your ability to make sense of life and live it.
ReplyDeleteSeptimus loses sight of the meaning in life and commits suicide because he lacked he ability to put this meaning into words and fully understand it himself and act on his desires. Septimus eventually commits suicide because he can’t see meaning in the world which makes him despair because an instinctual need that people want to be convinced that their life isn’t just for no reason at all. Communication even just with yourself is so important that it can push people to the brink of self destruction. At first, Septimus tries to think of other possibilities for why he doesn’t understand his valuable life. He postulates about how “It might be possible that the world itself is without meaning” (bottom 65) because at the current moment he doesn’t see the meaning or is he able to even conceive any notion about what it could be. This eventually leads to his sense of not knowing who he is or what he wants out of life and leads to his suicidal thoughts. Septimus reluctantly admits this when he says “Communication is health; communication is happiness. Communication, he muttered.” (middle 69). He realizes that what he is missing in life is this communication because it could give him both health, a healthy state of mind, and happiness because he would now have a meaning in life. At the end, he mutters communication because he is acknowledging that he lacks this communication that is necessary to be happy in life.
Thesis: Virginia Woolf shows what it means to be an independent woman by making Mrs Dalloway one through having a strong sense of self.
ReplyDeleteTopic sentence: This relates to how the left and right brain work like in that essay because her left brain and right brain contradict each other and she must be strong to have her sense of self like that.
Topic sentence: Mrs Dalloway faces controversies between being an independent woman and being a submissive housewife, just as the left and right brain contradict each other.
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